Device Modelling Group Quotes
Savas - 10/12/98
“ How big is yours, Jeremy? ”
Savas - 28/6/00
“ How long are you, Richard? ”
Savas - 28/6/00
“ What if people start fighting, and bringing chickens? ” 
Andy - 17/8/00
“ There’s only so much incomprehensible nano nonsense you can take... I’m going to skip the next session. ”
Asen - 1/2/01
“ I’m a clever bastard! ”
Jeremy - 1/2/01
“ I had a fight with a pig once. But he started it! ”
Jeremy - 17/7/01
“ I don’t even need to drink at all. ”
Richard - 27/8/01
About Prof. John Barker: “ Actually, he’s not a bad old stick. ”
Scott - 20/9/01
“ Stick it in under there, Jeremy. ”
Karol - 9/11/01
“ This is not Borsht, it’s tomato soup! ”
Gareth - 20/5/02
“ OK, you can have the orgy, I’ll have the stuffed pig. ”
Campbell - 23/5/02
“ Ostrich throttling twat monkeys! ”
Gareth - 28/5/02
“ Real men code in binary, and they don’t eat quiche. ”
Scott - 5/11/02
“ I’m perfectly in control of my faculties... did I leave a computer lying around anywhere? ”
Campbell - 23/1/03
“ My flabby pecs are like a shield of rubber ”
Karol - 3/2/03
“ I got fresh water from the toilet ”
Asen - 15/4/03
“ I’m not God; I’m a normal person ”
Campbell - 29/4/03
To Gareth: “ You’ve got a warm arse ”
Scott - 19/5/03
“ I’ll be shovelling keech tonight ”
Gareth - 4/6/03
“ Quantum mechanics shifts stuff to the right, doesn’t it? ”
Scott - 26/6/03
“ I’ve just finished the funeral service... another one bites the dust. ”
Andy - 30/7/03
To Jeremy: “ Don’t take your feelings of scientific inadequacy out on me! ”
Campbell - 6/1/04
“ We can’t get married; where would I put all my bitches? ”
Campbell - 6/1/04
“ With me every bath’s a jacuzzi. ”
Campbell - 5/2/04
About the tall girl in the sandwich shop: “ She loves me. She really loves me. It would be like climbing a mountain... a squishy mountain ”
Craig A. - 12/2/04
“ Belguim! I went to there once. I had a waffle ”
Antonio - 24/5/04
“ Hi Man, I have your cheese ”
Richard - 1/9/04
“ I do other things than just drinking and driving ”
Gareth - 17/9/04
“ I shall step back and repulse the monkey ”
Campbell - 18/10/04
“ There ain’t no cream in the world that can fix a sore weasel ”
Scott - 1/12/04
“ It’s always darkest before the next dark bit ”
Scott - 7/12/04
“ I’ll have 25KW of air conditioning in my office... I’ll be Scott of the Antarctic ”
Karol - 18/1/05
“ Don’t trust me, I’m an Asshole ”
Karol - 27/1/05
On playing Squash after 2 hours of Badminton: “ I nearly died... but I won 3-2 ”
John - 30/1/05
“ Would you like to see my doll? ”
Antonio - 10/2/05
“ Campbell, his family have no teeth and they live in the mountains ”
Marc - 22/2/05
To Andy: “ You are Groovy guy, eh? ”
Asen - 11/4/05
“ It’s very exciting! It’s very interesting! The first part’s quite boring, actually ”
Jeremy - 8/6/05
“ You’ve got scattering like nothing... you’ve got scattering like everything ”
Craig R. - 8/6/05
“ It’s not presentations I hate... it’s Jeremy ”
Campbell - 23/6/05
“ [Microsoft] Word is the sweat on Satan’s hairy bollocks ”
Gareth - 28/6/05
“ Maybe I should get a Rah-Rah skirt. ”
Antonio - 28/6/05
“ I have a white on my earbrow. ”
Antonio - 21/7/05
“ Oh! No no, Marc, it’s enormous! ”
Campbell - 9/8/05
“ Binjie’s defected... release the hounds! ”
Jeremy - 9/8/05
“ I’ll stick it in, you see if it works. ”
Antonio - 9/8/05
“ I want to fuck Giulio. ”
Campbell - 10/8/05
“ That makes him an asshole in my book. He’s descended into sphincterdom. ”
Antonio - 20/9/05
While pointing at his ass: “ I need to put this in some strange position. ”
Gareth - 21/9/05
“ I’m not a disco monkey... I’m just a monkey that dances disco. ”
Antonio - 13/10/05
“ I will squeeze my finger in Natalia’s shoe. ”
Antonio - 19/10/05
“ I can’t produce five breasts. ”
Karol - 21/10/05
“ Why didn’t you stick the wireless in the ass? ”
Gareth (with a little help from his friends) - 28/10/05
“ Magnificent Manuel masterfully manipulates microscopic multi-dimensional meshes matching many mini MOSFETs, maybe? ”
Antonio - 30/10/05
“ My coconuts are full of hairy. ”
Asen - 3/11/05
“ I have become convinced that the interface roughness is nothing to do with interface roughness. ”
Campbell - 3/11/05
“ He who laughs last probably didn’t get the joke. ”
Jeremy - 3/11/05
“ Are we going for a drink... why’s my watch on upside down? ”
Antonio - 8/11/05
“ You have never kissed a horse? You don’t know what love is! ”
Campbell - 20/11/05
“ Antonio’s family live there; they live in a swamp and fuck frogs. ”
Campbell - 22/11/05
“ I want to find a bear and waggle my nads at him. ”
Gareth - 22/11/05
“ Do that funky chicken white boy! ”
Sylvie - 14/12/05
“ I’m the Queen of dumplings. ”
Stanislav - 15/12/05
“ I bought a pyjama for my bike. ”
Binjie - 15/12/05
To Campbell (with surprise): “ Hey, you are a clever bastard! ”
Karol - 21/12/05
“ I keep my money in my ass. ”
Gareth - 12/01/06
“ I want a flying green pig with a helmet and a motorcycle, cos that would be cool. ”
John - 25/01/06
“ If I had my little bells on tonight... Jeremy and I could put on quite a show. ”
Antonio - 31/01/06
“ I have brain jam. ”
Giulio - 23/02/06
“ Hey, you know that I was working with a naked man. ”
Campbell - 3/04/06
“ I need to get myself some bitch tits. ”
Sylvie - 30/04/06
Campbell: “ Jesus! Who the hell dedicates a song to their cat. ”
Sylvie: “ Yeah! Totally! Cats can’t sing. ”
Campbell - 8/05/06
“ I love a diseased willy. ”
Karol - 16/05/06
“ Giulio, give me your stick. ”
Antonio - 27/06/06
“ You need to take the Jeremy in the small drops. If you take too much you will be poisoned. ”
Campbell - 13/07/06
Sylvie: “ I’ve shown you lots of things you’ve never seen before. ”
Campbell: “ Yeah. I’ve never seen the ping-pong ball trick before. ”
Sylvie - 25/07/06
“ I know where the mummies go. ”
Sylvie - 27/07/06
“ I previously lost a fridge. ”
Karol - 3/08/06
“ I’m going to pee and look for John. ”
Karol - 8/08/06
“ I am talking to unliving things. ”
Campbell - 9/08/06
“ Transparency makes me erect. ”
Antonio - 25/08/06
To Binjie: “ Eh! So your dad is e’screening the baby charge. ”
Gareth - 28/08/06
“ I don’t particularly want to pull down my trousers everytime I use my computer. ”
Campbell - 29/08/06
“ Check out my massive shiny balls. ”
Campbell - 6/09/06
“ I only have two speeds... zero and RAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR! ”
Campbell - 6/09/06
“ I am a love god! ”
Campbell - 6/09/06
“ My hands smell of balloon. ”
Karol - 8/09/06
“ Swindon looks like a hole in the ass. ”
Campbell - 11/09/06
“ Statistically, if you run enough Monte Carlo simulations, one of them has to give you the right answer. ”
Craig R. - 28/09/06
Karol to Craig R.: “ Why are you hitting Antonio? ”
Craig R. to Karol: “ Why are you NOT hitting Antonio? ”
Antonio - 2/10/06
Demonstrating his understanding of Native Americans: “ There are some pure Americans, but they are in the reservoir. ”
Antonio - 4/10/06
“ It’s hard to find a girl in the street and copulate. ”
Campbell - 4/10/06
“ Don’t be slapping people with my donkey dick. ”
Craig A. - 17/10/06
“ Have my funky sperm if you like it. ”
Campbell - 30/10/06
“ I’m going to make a lot of money on the stockmarket and then get an enormous erection. ”
Scott - 21/11/06
“ How long does it take to freeze a drive? ”
Gareth - 28/11/06
“ Spinning keys of DOOM... I should be in a circus. ”
Jeremy - 19/12/06
“ I’ve been there once, a couple of times. ”
Gareth - 9/1/07
“ I have claimed your desk with my butt. ”
Campbell - 9/2/07
“ If it involves rugby and lamb then I’m happy. ”
Antonio - 22/2/07
“ My balls are infested. ”
Campbell - 12/4/07
“ I want my monkey boobs. ”
Campbell - 12/4/07
“ More monkey boobs! ”
Jeremy - 8/5/07
“ You know, Antonio, that I’m madly in love with you. ”
Antonio - 10/5/07
“ The Green Man is the hero of the Scottish Beaver Salmon. ”
Antonio - 21/5/07
“ Oh! My cheese was in the sunlight. ”
Antonio - 29/5/07
“ I will eat your Mother. ”
Sylvie - 30/5/07
“ I take rim. ”
Andy - 31/5/07
“ Who’s the manga daddy? ”
Scott - 15/6/07
“ Who’s Angelina Jolie? ”
Asen - 24/8/07
“ I bought a Kalashnikov ”
Ewan - 3/9/07
“ International drug rings are OK. ”
Campbell - 20/9/07
“ Garrrrrr... Pirate Steve be a trend setter. ” (on noting that it was national Talk-Like-A-Pirate day)
Antonio - 20/9/07
“ I believe me! ”
Urban - 31/10/07
“ I drink only beer. ”
Campbell - 1/11/07
“ I got soy sauce on my donkey dongle. ”
Fernando - 13/11/07
“ I’m Mexican... we just grab women’s bottoms. ”
Natalia - 10/12/07
About Ewan: “ He’s not Scottish... he’s a pimp. ”
Campbell - 20/12/07
“ To quote Confuscious... ‘Borrox’. ”
Campbell - 10/1/08
“ Antonio’s stuck on shuffle. ”
Campbell - 31/1/08
“ You can’t go commando in another man’s fluffy bear suit. ”
Campbell - 31/1/08
“ It’s like Lego but with more hamster. ”
Asen - 14/2/08
“ Andy does not have dongle. ”
Binjie - 28/2/08
“ Every day we should pick a victim. ”
Campbell - 16/4/08
“ I’m a sexalicious code God. ”
Xingsheng - 22/4/08
After half a pint of beer: “ I can’t control my legs. ”
Jeremy - 22/4/08
“ I’ve concluded that I don’t understand women. ”
John - 1/5/08
“ You take the Feynman diagrams, which are quantum mechanical condoms.... ”
Campbell - 7/5/08
“ I harvested some of Fernando’s seeds. ”
Dave - 8/5/08
“ It’s hard to get to sleep when there’s a giant panda after you. ”
Iain - 8/5/08
“ That’s the third conversation I’ve had today about eating humans. ”
Dave - 13/5/08
“ I always knew that Campbell was a snake lover. ”
Antonio - 16/5/08
“ The first transistor was the size of a human child. ”
Jason - 19/5/08
“ No thanks. I’ll just take the finger up the butt. ”
Andy - 3/6/08
“ It’s the plastic penguin that makes it worthwhile. ”
Craig R. - 24/6/08
“ Campbell’s buying more shoes? He’s turning into a lesbian. ”
Scott - 2/9/08
“ Numerically it stinketh. ”
John - 7/9/08
“ One of the first times I realised I was becoming disillusioned with sheep was... ”
Campbell - 16/9/08
“ By that time I’ll be sniffing coke off Yul Brynner’s head. ”
Dave - 16/9/08
“ I think my dad’s turning into a redneck. ”
Antonio - 23/9/08
“ I cannot delay any more the disintegration of my body. ”
Campbell - 25/9/08
“ Oh shit! My pants have exploded... behold the power of the auto-wedgie. ”
Jason - 29/10/08
“ I’m going to be Antonio for Halloween. ”
Jeremy - 5/11/08
“ I’ll have you know I have lovely legs. ”
Jeremy - 20/11/08
“ My Monte Carlo is completely random. ”
Jason - 20/11/08
“ Jeremy and I are going to start sharing needles. ”
Antonio - 2/12/08
“ I get a little confused when I touch my breast. ”
Antonio - 16/12/08
To Natalia: “ You are not a woman to me... you are an object. ”
Craig R. - 17/12/08
“ I keep my recipes on a TiddlyWiki now. ”
Iain - 17/12/08
“ Do you know how many times I had a door dropped on me yesterday? ”
Campbell - 5/1/09
“ I think that 2009 should be the year of bitch-slapping Antonio. ”
Craig R. - 9/1/09
“ I usually just play guitar naked. ”
Campbell - 13/1/09
“ Save the Polar Bears... restrict your titties. ”
Craig R. - 13/1/09
“ Every time you masturbate a Polar Bear dies. ”
Jason - 14/1/09
“ I hate it when my piss mixes with other people’s piss. ”
Ewan - 28/1/09
“ Can I be a chicken? ”
Campbell - 30/1/09
“ To quote Gandhi, ‘don’t botox the podger’. ”
Jason - 4/2/09
“ It’s minus ten degrees below a donkey’s ass outside. ”
Antonio - 9/2/09
“ Where did we walk the next time we were here? ”
Jason - 13/2/09
“ I’ll have you know I look quite good taking off a dress. ”
Antonio - 13/2/09
“ Andrew, your shoes are upside-down, or is your legs? ”
Karol - 17/3/09
“ Spanish ham is very resistant. ”
Craig R. - 31/3/09
“ Antonio’s ass is killing the planet. ”
Antonio - 15/4/09
“ Binjie, I was thinking about you in the shower. ”
Iain - 9/6/09
“ I’m big and fun and shiny. ”
Scott - 30/7/09
“ I used to keep one cos they’re useful for breaking into buildings. ”
Scott - 30/7/09
“ I’m going to enjoy being head of department. ” (said without a hint of irony)
Antonio - 17/9/09
“ You will miss a lot if I become self-consistent. ” (of course he meant self-sufficient)
Jeremy - 17/9/09
“ I’m allowed to interfere with your sister. ”
Campbell - 30/11/09
“ No work before trousers. ”
Antonio - 11/2/10
“ Binije, no swim for you? You will become a potato couch. ”
Plamen - 10/3/10
“ I didn’t have a Mars Bar till I was seven. ”
Antonio - 17/3/10
“ You are vandalising my sexual orientation. ”
Iain - 6/5/10
“ If only my brain was as clever as my general body. ”
Iain - 7/7/10
“ All of my walls are made with fairy liquid. ”
Campbell - 22/9/10
“ How often do you get the chance to say ‘post-penis moniker’? ”
Antonio - 21/10/10
“ I have no ego! ”
Craig R. - 18/11/10
“ He asked for a 'P' and you gave him a number one. ”
Urban - 9/12/10
“ Campbell is girlie name. ”
Antonio - 6/1/11
“ I try to lift Campbell and one of my balls... poof... explode! ”
Plamen - 13/1/11
“ I think the lactose was Andy intolerant. ”
Andy - 26/5/11
“ My burrito is entirely medicinal. ”