Greetings. My name is Rick. I am a mammal. My interests include salsa dancing, playing bagpipes, portrait photography, left-wing American political humour, women's volleyball, being a grammar Nazi, high-performance computing, wearing shorts at inappropriate times, punching dragons in the face while wearing a tuxedo, contemplating the howling loneliness of my worthless existence, looking at amusing pictures of cats when I should be working, reminiscing about Danish pastries, and wearing at least one shoe on each foot at all times.
I teach mathematics for fun. I don't mean that mathematics is fun (although it is); I mean that inflicting psychological suffering is fun. Does this make me a bad person? Well, yes.
Long ago and far away, I was a combat medic, in which capacity I was decorated by both British and American forces for service in the Balkans. I was occasionally recognised for being a wee bit clever by squaddie standards, but that's kind of like winning a prize for being the tallest midget.
It took me five years to admit that I was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
Jobs I did since leaving the army included bouncer, minibus driver, night watchman, waiter, bartender, cleaner, and pizza delivery boy. In 2010, I went from working for one sinister right-wing organisation to another.
I have a suspicion that it is no mere coincidence that I lost all my friends around the same time I got really fat. Therefore, I am currently engaged on a mission to lose weight. (Staying fat has its upsides, of course.)